So What Just Happened? RIP Luna

Luna was his usual self all day and even had a mad one in the garden. You know the type of thing, bouncing around the garden and enjoying his life.

Later in the evening he wanted to go out. It was raining. He still went out and he stood for ages in the garden just looking out, wandering about, doing a wee here and there until he had no more. He came in and then immediately went out again. He just wanted to be outside. He did this a few times. Lee said he had done this before and wanted to do a poo. We had to call him back in and eventually he came back in.

Our Luna

He was a bit restless, obviously wanted to sleep but couldn't get comfortable on his side so he was on his stomach with his head on his paws. As the night went on it was obvious something was wrong although he still wanted fusses and would get up to move to another place but always going back to where he was. We knew something was wrong when Lee noticed he had done a little poo where he lay. Over the last couple of weeks he had had a couple of accidents in the house which was unusual too but it seemed that he needed to go urgently. It looked like he couldn't get up any more, but he did and made his way half way across the room to another spot. There was no problem with his walking he was just trying to settle down, but then he went and lay down in the far side corner of the room and was sick twice. Not a great amount. I cleaned it up and gave his some fuss but I think I knew then that we were losing him. I was still hoping though that after he had some sleep he would feel a bit better. It was about 1am and my partner and mum went to bed. I said I would stay up and call them if anything happened. I asked Luna if he wanted to go out but he didn't. It was quite a few hours since he last went out. His stomach was a bit bloated but it had been like that a while and wasn't any bigger than when we went to the vet.

I gave Luna space and left him for a little while but then he started getting restless again so I went over to him. He changed position a few times, sat upright for a moment looking at me and then lay back down again. Once he had found his spot he didn't get up again. I placed his little blanket just lightly over his back so that he felt secure. His eyes kept glazing over and then he would come into focus again. I got Lee up this time as something had changed. We both sat with him lightly stroking his back and paw but not all the time to give him space. His breathing changed. His back was going up a little with each breath and then it calmed down and so did his breathing. I counted 8 seconds between breaths and then it got longer until it completely stopped. Then we broke. We both held him in turn and cried into his fur. It was so sad, we had lost him. I woke my mum up, she's 92 and can't walk very well (after her stroke). She lay on the floor and was broken like us, sobbing and holding him. It was about 3am.

We left him where he was while we decided what to do and had a few more cuddles with him too. We decided to have him cremated and mum wanted his ashes to be buried with her. So we wrapped him in his blanket and moved him into his basket so that we could carry him easier. His normal weight was about 40kg but he felt so much heavier. He looked at peace and just like he was sleeping. So heartbreaking for all of us.

We were numb. I rang a 24 hour pet crematorium and we arranged to take him at 9am. It was an hour's drive. We left Luna there and collected his ashes 5 hours later. It is a beautiful wooden casket with his name on and a little flower attached to the top. We couldn't open the envelope that came with it. Not yet.