Our OCD dog

Luna following Lee

Dog proofing the fence

Lee and his Dog

A few decisions were made yesterday. We decided Ollie was not the one and Lee actually said he was pleased I'd got my head screwed on and was choosing this one. Not in those words though. He always looks with his heart which is okay but we have to be practical too. I must be a bit odd though because I even think about the amount of poo and size and have mentioned this to him as well. I think this comes from having a very healthy and large german shepherd. Bless his runny tummy in those later years.

Things are moving on the greyhound front and we are being assessed next week. I went to the pet shop with mum and we bought some toys and new bowls. We will need a few more things. I was sad in the pet shop but we fussed a couple of lovely dogs there. They were so calm, happy and well behaved. We could never have taken Luna to a pet shop, he would be so excited and would be playing with all the toys and jumping to greet everyone. I miss him so much and all the lovely cuddles we had. He was the only dog I could really cuddle that loved big bear hugs. He would have let me cuddle and fuss him all day ... as long as Lee wasn't there because it was him that he followed mostly and although he had a special bond with me and mum he shared himself differently with each of us. I swear he had OCD as he had so many rituals during the day that he had made up himself and stuck to and he would tell us if we forgot. He used to walk around slugs, snails and puddles. He had to have his treats in a particular order and he knew if you had changed brand because the shop had run out of his usual. He would just look at us as if to say "who are you trying to kid". He loved taking his tablets as he thought they were treats. He trusted us totally and gave us so much love. The early days were completely different, he even fractured Lee's leg running into him with his head because he couldn't stop.

Email to a Friend, 30 November (Day 9)

I've let the lady at the Horeb rescue centre know that we don't think we are suitable for Ollie purely because of the breed and also because another turn of events has happened. She also sent a picture of him sitting on the lap of her husband with his paw on his face. I know he will be a lovely dog for the right person and it breaks my heart that it is not us.

I have always said that I would rescue a greyhound when I was in a position to do so mainly due to their size and also exercise requirements. I love lurchers too but they are a bit too energetic. Anyway, I looked at the rescue centre website in Wales, I have been avoiding it and have now learned that their exercise requirements are more in line with what we can offer. Two twenty minute walks a day and a play area etc. There was one dog that totally stuck out to me and I immediately felt that he was the right dog for us. I am still worried about size and still not sure that I want the commitment of another dog. I don't think new dog owners realise how much time and contact they need and that's why a lot of them end up in a rescue centre. The dog has a story too and has a metal plate in his leg, like so many who have been raced and broken legs beyond repair. He is relatively new there and has spent most of his time in the hospital and recovering so although they've done an assessment I'm not sure how accurate this will be as he is not totally healed yet (I think). I have applied to adopt him and also named another one that was of interest.

After speaking to Lee and mum they are on board as Lee has always loved greyhounds too. We always stop by when we see them on fundraising stalls and they are so calm, gentle and lovely that I know this is the right breed and temperament that we are looking for. They have rung me back and come back with another 2 names that I have had a look at. I have ruled one out as he is much larger but there is another female that I am definitely considering also. I ruled her out because it said she would need another dog. She also might be a bit more of a handful, and I think she probably has separation anxiety. Luna had this too so that is not really an issue for us. But the more I look at her the more I think we should meet her too and see which one we connect with.

All this and I still know that I am not ready. The deciding factor is that my mum is going downhill. She is so upset and is getting confused and dizzy again. I really need to keep an eye on her. Yesterday I asked if she wanted to go to the pet shop with me to get some things and she said yes. She never wants to go out anywhere and I really have to persuade her. She also said hello and stroked a couple of dogs that were down the aisles and it lifted her spirits. She's also been asking me everyday when the dog is coming. I know this isn't the way to make a long term decision. I am so confused and still upset about Luna.

You are going to think I'm nuts but I have a pack of ancestor/guardian cards and I draw one out every now and then to see what they have to say. Last night I picked the animal guardian card which is basically telling me how animals can show us how to enjoy life, show true emotion etc and bring so much loving experience. This is the deal breaker for me. I am just going to go with it now. I still have doubts but we will meet these 2 rescues. Another lady contacted me yesterday and is coming next Friday for the assessment. She couldn't get us in earlier but I think this is fine as it was all happening too fast. Hopefully, my mum will look forward to that although she keeps thinking they are bringing our dog to us.

Lee has said not to say anything at archery as he still can't speak about it yet. He's just going to say that my hand is bad for me which is true. I know I won't be strong enough to hide my emotions but I think next week I might be okay, we'll see.